Walking with God in our friendships
There are no areas in your life that aren’t covered in the life that God gave us in Christ.
I approach this topic thoughtfully because, as I’ve entered my thirties, friendships have become a significant source of connection, unity, and joy, as well as growth, pain, and change. As someone who has experienced and continues to seek fulfilment in this area, I’ve learned one of the most valuable lessons: to involve God in our friendships and trust Him in this area, just as we trust Him for the right job, spouse, house, or promotions.
From birth, we form friendships with those in our surroundings and environments. If we get along, share common interests, and support one another, we often assume those friendships are meant to last forever. For those of us who didn’t know Jesus at a young age or didn’t have praying parents, the idea of seeking God’s guidance in friendships might not have crossed our minds. Even after becoming believers, many of us might not have considered praying about friendships the same way we pray for other aspects of our lives. We often assume that because someone attends the same church or loves Jesus, they’ll naturally become our best friend. Or that long-standing friendships are meant to endure. But, brothers and sisters, that’s not always the case. God knows who your friends are meant to be, when and where you’ll meet them, and the seasons in which they’ll be prominent—or step back—in the story of your life.
To clarify, I’m not suggesting that we become exclusive, unkind, or dismissive toward others. Please don’t misunderstand me. As Christians, we are called to love others and demonstrate the love of God so that they, too, might know Him. We are the body of Christ and a spiritual family, walking in the fruit of the Spirit as described in Galatians 5:22. We are to include others, pray for one another, and meet needs as the Holy Spirit leads us.
What I’m addressing are those deep, God-ordained friendships that help us grow in our relationship with Jesus. These are the friendships that God handpicks for us, those that draw us closer to Him, encourage us in both good and challenging times, and guide us in truth. These friendships are blessings—marked by a love for Jesus that surpasses love for each other. They exist for God’s purpose and glory.
Some of these friendships may be long-lasting, but changes can occur. If both individuals choose not to maintain the friendship, disobey God’s word, or face life circumstances that pull them apart, that doesn’t mean it was God’s will for the friendship to end. Just as in marriage, God doesn’t force us into or out of relationships. Free will and obedience to His leading are essential. Both parties must choose to remain committed as unto the Lord.
I’ve heard people say, “Friendships are for a season,” or “Adult friendships are hard.” While this has been true in some of my experiences, I often wonder: Did those friendships end because they weren’t ordained by Jesus Christ? In my opinion, when God initiates something, it bears lasting fruit. Think about our relationship with God—it’s eternal, committed, and transformative. Similarly, I believe Jesus desires us to reflect His character in our relationships—be it friendships, marriages, or work.
This, of course, must be approached with wisdom. I’m not advocating for staying in unfruitful, hurtful, or abusive relationships. This is why intimacy with God and discernment are crucial. By seeking His guidance, we can avoid entering relationships He hasn’t ordained and find the strength to step away from those that are harmful.
Let me be clear again: I’m not suggesting exclusivity or closing our hearts to others. Jesus included people, helped them, and showed kindness. However, we must recognise that not everyone is meant to hold a deep, intimate place in our hearts nor are they supposed to walk closely with us. God provides specific individuals who can walk closely with us, and we must pray, discern, and recognise those connections when they appear. Moreover, we must strive to be the kind of friends we pray for—kind, godly, and Spirit-filled.
Here are a few practical steps for trusting God in our friendships:
Know Jesus and find your fulfilment in Him.
Pray for God-ordained friendships and connections.
Learn to be a good friend—be friendly, kind, and committed to pleasing the Lord.
Pursue your God-ordained purpose and trust Him to align your path with the right people.
Be open to learning and growing in friendships. God may use others to teach you how to be a better friend, or vice versa.
For those who feel lonely or are waiting on God to bring the right friendships, I understand—it can be painful and discouraging. But take heart. Bring your feelings to God, cherish the connections He has already provided, and trust Him to bring fulfilling, God-ordained friendships into your life. You are never alone—you are His beloved, and He withholds no good thing from you.
Instead of forcing relationships or dwelling on rejection, delight in the truth that God delights in you. Trust His timing, His plans, and His provision. He will guide you to the right connections, those that bring joy and purpose to your journey.
Let this message bless and encourage you today.
